To withdraw to a quiet or secluded place is a regular necessity for my peace of mind. It could be early mornings watching the sunrise from my meditation nest on the verandah or rapt in a book in bed. Earlier this year it was at the Bethel Retreat on Kirra Beach. They “specialise in Healing Life’s Hurts, a residential, week long experience which encourages our guests to journey into healing the effects of much of life’s hurts.”
The Bethel Retreat gave me useful tools to process my emotions in a healthy way. It was a relief to realise how many past hurts I had suppressed. Most of my hurts were a mixture of sadness and anger that have been pushed down or swallowed. The other focus of the retreat is to encourage you to live from your heart, rather than be lead by your head. The head is the voice that speaks to you critically whereas the heart voice is filled with love and compassion. This habit I have been cultivating through meditation, mindfulness and loving awareness practices for many years. I don’t speak to myself harshly, but I have been struggling with letting go of expectations, especially those of my nuclear family. I expect them to appreciate my efforts and show their gratitude with loving gestures. At the retreat we learned the practice of writing dialogue to the love within ourselves to let go of expectations. In this way, over time, I can simply count on myself to give all the love and affirmation I need. In this way I can tap into my inner wisdom.
Each day we started and finished with meditation, we were encouraged to be silent - no music, no books, no screen-time, no distractions from the work of healing. I loved the silence, it was so liberating to not have to speak to anyone or share my story or listen to other guest’s stories. We were scheduled a 40 minute session with a companion who listens or bears witness to the release of our hurts, our emotions, our discoveries about learned behaviours, coping mechanisms and limiting beliefs. The companion is someone who has done the retreat and can listen with an open heart, whilst gently guiding and encouraging your to focus on the processes being shared.
Each morning we were led through the focus of the day which involved writing tasks, so that you practice making this process a habit. The silence helps you listen to your heart so you can know how to proceed and what to write. The hope is that your inquiry will lead you to choose to live with LOVE rather than fear. As you do the writing you feel all kinds of emotions release (cue box of tissues), so it’s powerful to notice that as you read out what you have written even stronger feelings can arise. My companion explained that this is because speaking out loud validates our feelings, we feel heard. Then we can lovingly let those strong emotions go. We can tend to ourselves with loving kindness. If you struggle with this imagine that it is a dear friend or family member coming to you with these woes then use the way you would speak to them as a guide for speaking to yourself.
My companion skillfully used imagery when my emotions, especially fear, tried to silence me. Fear manifests in my throat so I literally cannot speak, but she showed me how to tap into my heart energy or LOVE to find the courage to speak. It’s amazing, astonishing and wonderful to have these processes to use. One of my favourite pieces of new information from the retreat is that EMOTION is energy in motion and I can choose the direction and processing of this energy - that’s empowering!
Kirra Beach is an ideal setting as I could walk off my excess emotional energy, easily finding a patch of beach for myself. The Bethel Retreat was restful, releasing and practical - I have continued to use the tools I learnt and (mostly) feel a quiet sense of satisfaction with my lot.
